Lately I have had quite a few clients mention in emails:
"I follow you on Instagram and I must admit I'm envious of your life"
I smile and shake my head in bewilderment cos as we all know Instagram only shows all the "pretty" stuff not the reality of my life which at times seriously isn't all that pretty.
Today was one of those days .....
Certainly wasn't posting Instagram shots at my Bladder Test today, although I did mention it to the Urologist as he had my legs in stirrups and I didn't know what other casual conversation to come up with ??!! OMG NEVER AGAIN. There was no information when I booked but I tentatively asked the receptionist "what are they going to do to me?" she handed me a pamphlet and said "read this". Oh lord I wish I hadn't. I wanted to run out screaming, I'd been dreading it and put it off 6 months but thought what's the worst thing they could do? I might have to drink a bit of water and do a few star jumps. Well, they shoved tubes everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE!!! One up my clacker and as she was (very gently I may add) inserting another one god knows where (which seemed to go for miles) I could'nt help but ask if it was going to come out my mouth! The Dr was lovely and strangely a bit handsome (again I think I may have a thing for Dr's) He was very touchy and kept rubbing my arm (not in a weird way) in a caring way, but I just felt completely mortified. He asked me just to think about something else, I said, "I know what I'm thinking about, a bloody big glass of wine after all this". I had to wee on a toilet that wasn't a toilet (more like a toilet in Bali, you know where there's no plumbing?) haha. Honestly, you do a wee, they measure it and then they pump a full bag of water into your bladder to see how long you can hold it. Mmmmm, I'm sure I just explained my nightmare car trip a month ago to him, what part of "not long" don't they get! Dr asked me in the pre test interview how long I think I've had a problem. I mentioned when I was in nightclubs (pre kids even) I would join the ladies toilet queue, do my wee and just join the end of the queue again as I knew by the time it got to me I would be busting, so yes a LONG time! I made some of my best friends in toilets in nightclubs.
Anyway, after an extremely humiliating experience and I'm not even telling you half of it, I put my gear back on. I asked the lady at reception, "Do I pick my dignity up here or at the door?" she smiled and the best part......... it cost me $300 to find out I have a weak bladder, no shit sherlock, I could have told them that for NOTHING! The things we do :- X